And though at times it feels like I may collapse, that I am weak and crumbling like Roman ruins, your star burns forever bright in my sky. Tonight for some reason, my mind can almost fit itself around the fact that it is not too late for us to be reunited.

So does Dad’s love for you… it blazes omnipresent. And though they may appear in places to be cracked and battered, and even crumbling, their spirit endures. I am old, but so is Paris, and so is Rome, and parts of Paris & Rome feel refurbished and youthful. And now you read, but not with me, you write, but not to me, you dance, but not beside me, you sing, but not the same chorus as Dad, you skip, but with a different rope. Despite being chubby your wrists had much the same circumference as Dad’s pinkies back to back. I think of your birth and picture your soft pink skin, your full head of beautiful shiny black hair and your chubby wrists. I imagine you growing, growing without me, growing without us, your Australian/Morice identity.

No, not run, SPRINT! Can you run faster than a horse now? Dad’s not even as fast as an old hobbled horse… in fact after training with the Track/X-country Teams I’m sure if I were a horse I would be branded “lame”, and put down… but I’m ready to catch you when you leap into my arms. Wouldn’t it be easier to pretend that this never happened? We could meet at our designated pick-up/drop-off area, and we could run into each other’s arms. So many times I have just stood and stared out at the night, stared into the leaves, lost my focus and wondered about you, wondering what if… wondering if only I had… wondering if I/we had taken a different path, perhaps a less noble & honest one… You were quick to forgive our shortcomings as parents, but I know it rocks your heart even today, to sense the tension left by your mother and me. You were selfless, and emotionally mature beyond your years. You had the eyes of the family dog who looks at its owner as if she/he can do no wrong. Let me ramble, because I think it’s important that you know that you were the best thing that ever happened to me. How’s things in your part of the world? Are you still the loyal and caring daughter you always were? What a stupid question, sorry.

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